It was a Sunday morning when the hour hand of my bedside alarm clock was just about to finish one complete revolution around the white dial. The sun light from outside was streaming in through the partially raised Venetian blinds covering my bedroom window.
I was still lying on my bed. I could feel a severe pain pounding inside my head. Partying all weekend had its own after effects.
As I peeped out of the sides of my barely opened eyelids to catch a glimpse of the time, my heart just skipped a beat. Another day had just slipped away from my life.
I worked for a global oil and gas giant in the energy capital of the United States, Houston. I enjoyed the benefits of a fat pay package and a laid back work atmosphere that limited my work hours to a 9-80 schedule. It was apparently a scheme invented by the Houston traffic board to control traffic congestion along its freeways. However, its impacts on my life was completely different. When the rest of the world would begin its weekend celebrations with a TGIF, I started celebrating my TGI Thursdays. This particular day just happened to be on one such long weekend.
As I sat up on my bed, still rubbing my eyes, trying to gauge the impact of the hangover, I could not help but think about what I was doing with my life. My lifestyle was the envy of my friends who still worked in India or those who were still toiling over their PhDs in the US. It pumped my heart with a feeling that could best be described as pompousness.
But not now. My head was playing tricks with me. It started spewing out questions like a freshly opened soda bottle. And all the questions boiled down to only one thing- was I happy?
Once I realized what was bothering me, I set out on my quest to find its answers hidden in the unfathomable depths of my mind. I fumbled through half forgotten memories, unfulfilled wishes and long lost prayers.
I remembered how as a teenager I would admire my dad as a man who created his own destiny. A self-made man who built a business out of nothing but sheer determination, foresight and hard work.
I remembered how I would pray in every religious function to become a successful entrepreneur, who would make even his entrepreneur father proud for scaling heights in business that even he had never been able to reach himself.
I remembered how as a college student, I would kindle the fire of entrepreneurship among my friends when they seemed disoriented and confused- lost in the turbulent sea called career.
And I realized how I was leading my life now- choosing the option that comes easy, completely addicted to short term pleasures, completely unmindful of what I always wanted to do.
And I woke up….